Have conversations beyond asking about their school day, homework, or teachers. Asking about their day after they get home from school is like asking us how work went after we get home. The day is over, and most adults don’t really want to think or talk about it.

Ask open-ended questions (questions that cannot be answered simply by saying yes or no). For example, “What was the best part of your day?” Begin talking about something they enjoy, their friends, hobbies, or sports. When you show interest in things that they enjoy, they will start to open up more about what might be weighing on them.

Remember that the goal is to have an open dialogue rather than a lecture. Talk with your child in a curious and conversational way rather than in an interview format. You may find that talking with them while in the car, on a walk, during dinner, or while playing a game helps you both feel more comfortable, especially during more uncomfortable conversations. Although these topics are uncomfortable, they are necessary conversations.

You can also use current events to spark these conversations. For example, if a news story comes on the television about someone who was blackmailed, you can use that opportunity to talk about what blackmail is. Ask your child questions about whether they know anyone who has been blackmailed and what they would do if they got themselves into a situation they didn’t know how to get out of. You can role play situations to get your child to think about the options they have.